Another weird fact that I'm almost 100% my husband and sisters would have insisted that I put down on my list is the fact that I always wear matching pajamas to bed. It might be shorts & a t-shirt, but if it's black shorts, the t-shirt has to have black on it somewhere. It might be my pink flannel pj pants, but my shirt will either be plain white or have pink (same shade). I didn't mention this on my list, because I really don't consider it to be that weird. However, I have been teased mercilessly for years about this obsession. My reasoning is simple. If there were ever a fire in my house in the middle of the night, and I have to run out of my house in only one outfit, I want it to match. I'm probably going to be busy #1) worrying about my safety & my husbands #2) grabbing important possessions like our lock box and not have time to worry about clothes. #3) I at least want to have something that covers my body & doesn't look completely ridiculous when I have to go start putting the pieces back together the next day. Maybe it is stupid to some people (definitely my husband, who should the house ever burn down, would be throughly embarrassed by his not matching or practical outfits and wishing he would have taken at least one piece of advice from his wife.) However, to me, it's important. Now in reality, I know the day after a house fire, people probably aren't going to look at me and be thinking OMG how could she wear pink flannel pajama pants with that ugly brown shirt. I know this...I just don't care. My husband is convinced I do it because I want to impress the firemen. Um, no offense to the firemen (my husband is one of them), but not so much....I don't know, maybe it's an underlying fear from childhood when my brother's house burnt down while we were all at school & my nephews only had what they were wearing that day...I don't know...regardless, you can bet when I go to bed tonight, I'll be wearing matching pj's :)
Why this needed to be expressed in my blog, I'm not sure. Maybe in hopes that my husband or sisters will read it and stop tormenting me for the next 30 years....maybe just maybe, I was hoping that if I typed it out, it would seem like a logical and rational thing to do.......HMMM...
If you're reading this consider yourself tagged if you haven't already been b/c I'm too stupid to understand how to link to all of you in step #4!
Here are the rules to enjoy the fun: 1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
------------------------------------ 1) I cannot stand anything on my hands. Pie crusts, mixing meatloaf, dirt, etc. I'm not a girly girl and I love to be outside, I just can't stand the sensation. Other than play dough, which is different to me than other dough...it's weird. I'll wash my hands in between everything. Like if I'm rolling snickernoodles into balls to roll in cinnamon & sugar...I wash my hands b/w each one. I worry I will somehow cause my future children to have some weird obsession with this as well.
2) I love my strange family. It's weird, complicated, big, loud & noisy, and I hope to have one just like it someday! I love the fact that I have 2 older brothers that are 49 & 51. I think in some ways we're much closer than siblings that are close in age. I grew up with nieces & nephews very close to my own age, so it was like a whole bunch of extended siblings. I miss my dad, but love David more than anything and thank God that he sent him to my family 10 years ago.
3) I don't think I was a very good teacher. I always thought I could be doing something better or helping a child more. I got too emotionally attached sometimes (alot of the time) and I think in some ways that inhibited my teaching of that child.
4) I am grateful to my husband's ex-girlfriend for introducing us. I don't particular want to be best friend's with her again, but I wouldn't trade them dating for anything b/c I wouldn't have met him otherwise. I think this is weird, b/c most people despise their spouse's exes.
5) I used to sleep with my eyes open. I'm not sure if I still do or not b/c my husband it too sound of a sleeper to ever notice something like this. But it used to freak my sisters out.
6) I without a doubt have a fear of dying. It's not because of lack of faith, because I know there is a heaven. I fear dying because I worry about things like will I remember Trenton? Who will be my mom's husband in heaven? Will I remember my baby or have my baby when I get there? I know that's a total lack of faith, but it's my obsession with having answers to questions.
7) The only food I will not eat is olives. I will try anything else and like almost anything else (hmm..could be an indicator of my waist size:) but I hate olives and am the only one in my family who does. I tried to eat one a couple of weeks ago and vowed to never touch another one as long as I live. If I was eating a supreme pizza and there was only one olive on the whole pizza, I could find it and wouldn't eat the rest of the pizza.
So I've been pondering this in my head since last night. Jamie & I went grocery shopping yesterday while the boys were out doing man things (Trenton hunting, Josiah volleyball). I only needed a few things, but was cooking a turkey yesterday and wanted noodles to go with and was too lazy to make homemade ones, so I said I'd ride along. She was doing her "big" shopping. We went to Aldi's & Wal-Mart. I told her how impressed I was that she was so good as sticking to things on the list and her budget. She said she's really trying hard b/c her & Josiah are really worried about "depression" like times & the economy. As two 20 year olds, they don't have alot of savings or things like a deep freezer full of meat. It really got me thinking, how prepared are Trenton & I for hard times and will it come to that? I know or at least hope we will never face a depression like what are grandparents/great grandparents went through. But what about our own depression/hard times? I know subconsciously once I started thinking about it, there are things Trenton & I've already been doing just b/c our budget is tighter. We've started eating out less, I pack my lunch more with leftovers instead of eating/paying for school lunch. We make less trips places and try to carpool more. Jamie's comment though was "at least you guys would be ok food wise b/c you have a pantry & deep freeze full". Which I agree there, but what about simple things like paying for gas/heat? I know prices have went down, but we're still paying for the toll of the increased bill the last 6 months has had on our budget. What if it spikes again mid-winter? I know the best answer to all these fears and doubts is to turn it over to God and trust that he will provide what is needed (not what we want) as long as we have faith and believe. But I still think you have to do some things to help yourself out. Trenton & I are at a time in our lives where obviously we want to start a family, which means we need to be saving and reorganizing our spending habits, but do you save now or try to pay off as many bills as you can? I know some of you probably don't think as much about things like this as I do. I've always been a worry wart about money. Mostly b/c I'm the one who pays all our bills and does all our shopping. It just really made me think when I hear people like Jamie seriously concerned about money, economy, and saying words like depression. Have I had my head in the sand? Should I have been a little more proactive instead of re-active? Anyway...point of this post? Are you worried about the economy and hard times? What are you doing about it in your own lives? Cutting coupons? Turning down the heat when you're gone? Let's hear it....
Maybe I just got spoiled on my time off, but work is extremely overwhelming right now. I came back to a desk full of papers, all needing immediate attention. I haven't been to see my speech kids in 3 weeks because of meetings, etc... I haven't been in to visit any of my teachers in ages...or some at all. And on top of that, I'm informed yesterday that the report I've been asking about since the first of the school year, is due Wednesday AND I'm the one who has to do it. Also, something I was asking about since Day 1 and was told the secretary would do it. God Bless Ruthie if she does this for Mary every year. What a pain in the a$$. Yes, I should be working on it right now, because I currently have 1 out of 89 students entered in. But it was either write this blog, cry, or scream. I thought screaming would scare the Kindergartners heading past my door. Crying would ruin my makeup today, which actually looked decent and made me feel like a human being again. So blogging it is.......AHHH!!! I would like to return to sticking my head in the sand and pretending that work doesn't exist. I would like to go home to my wonderfully clean, laundry finished, bathroom scrubbed house and watch my soap operas.... guess I'm just a dreamer...
I'm back, I'd like to say good as new, but that would be a lie. We're doing ok though. The last week has been without a doubt the hardest week of my life, but it has also been a life changing experience. Trenton & I have leaned on each other and I feel that our relationship is much stronger through our loss. It's been hard, but we've also learned that we have amazing friends and family and without that support, I'm not sure where we would be. I know some of you may wonder why I would chose to write this all out, but the point of this blog was to be a journal to me and my feelings/thoughts. Some of this may be pretty random because that's how my thoughts are right now. I can't say that I understand why this happened to us, but I do believe God has a reason and a plan. My faith at times has wavered, but I know it will not fail. I think the hardest part of it has been trying to understand why we were able to get pregnant at all, just to have it torn away. I don't know what was harder, not knowing if I could get pregnant or wondering now why I wasn't able to keep my baby? A million questions and I'll never have the answers to any of them. The only things I know for sure are: 1) God doesn't give you more than you can handle...therefore, even though it doesn't feel like it now, we will be ok. 2) God has a plan bigger than our own...we just have to be patient 3) Although we'll never hold our baby, we know it is in the arms of God and there is no safer, more loving place than that. 4) My husband is an amazing man and I have never felt more loved and supported than I have by him these past 12 weeks. I know now that he was truly sent to me by God.
Thank you all for your calls, food, visits, cards, prayers, etc. I appreciate all the offers for company and will probably take you up on them in the future. Right now keeping busy is the best distraction. Trenton starts back in full hunting mode at work this week and will be gone a lot, so my mission is keeping busy and getting back to some sense of normalacy. We are truly blessed to live where we do and be surrounded by great friends and family! Thank you!
Quick update on the Tallman household, simply b/c I don't feel up to sitting and typing all that long. I'm back @ work today after taking Thursday and Friday of last week off. Still bleeding/cramping and can't make it stop. It got better over the weekend, but stupidly, I thought since today was only PD, I could make it at work. Plus, I just really hated to be gone another day, unplanned. However, things have degressed today and are now just as bad as they were last week. I'm going home to rest at 3:00 and don't plan on moving off my couch all night. I'm very anemic anyway, but darn it, 11 days of this and I'm wiped out completely! I could probably sleep for a full 24 hours. I'd call the doctor, but he's not in today and we have an appt. tomorrow anyway. Plus, Trenton just called and they are inducing Trinity today apparently...not sure, he had to get off the phone. So, since we share a doctor, I know he's out b/c a different doctor is taking care of her today. Anyway, hope everyone is good and I definitely miss reading everyone's blogs when I'm at home....we have got to get internet!
1. Sitting in front of the TV, what's on the screen? well we only have ABC...so sports or news...but when we had more choices....ALWAYS the weather channel, history, or discovery...he's a nerd at heart :) 2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Ranch..always 3. What's one food he doesn't like? tomatoes, cooked cabbage, alot of vegetables... 4. You go out to a bar. What does he order? usually an iced tea, but if he's drinking, it's crown & coke 5. Where did he go to high school? Schuyler County 6. What size shoe does he wear? 10E or a 10 1/2 depends on the shoe 7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? John Deere stuff... 8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Old fashion loaf with pepperjack cheese 9. What would this person eat everyday if he could? steak or beef of some sort.. 10. What is his favorite cereal? whatever is available...he's not picky about cereal 11. What would he never wear? shorts...unless they're mesh shorts around the house or leather sandals... 12. What is his favorite sports team? KC Chiefs & Mizzou 13. Who will he vote for? His decision.. 14. Who is his best friend? I'd say ME but he has a ton of friends...he's still friends with all his high school and college friends 15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? sulk..he's a sulker when things don't go his way and be such a techno nerd... 16. How many states has he lived in? Missouri 17.What is his heritage?ummm ?? 18. You bake him a cake for his birthday, what kind of cake? Strawberry or red velvet 19. Did he play sports in high school? Football and track, but only for one year b/c then he didn't have to miss any football games in the fall for his MIP 20. What could he spend hours doing? hunting, playing on the computer, riding a tractor, talking, and spending time with his wonderful wife :) (ok, I might have just made the last part up, but I hope if he had hours to spend, he'd want to spend them with me)
I have a wonderful and loving husband, Trenton, who is the love of my life. We were married in November 2007. I love spending time with family and friends. We are very blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives. I am the director of Special Education. I really enjoy my job. We are currently expecting our first child, a baby girl, after struggling to start a family after 3 recurrent losses in the past year. We're just trying to give it all to God and enjoy where we are in life at the time.