I cannot even begin to express my gratefulness in having such a wonderful and caring Lord that watches over me. I should explain...last Wednesday after I finally posted about our exciting news, I started having a lot of trouble that evening. I've had trouble, bleeding/cramping early on and the doctor said that if it didn't last more than a day or two, not to worry...well come Friday, I was worried. They're not in the office on Fridays, but advised bed rest for the weekend, ultrasound at 11 on Monday and absolutely to take it easy. Easier said than done with 2 surprise parties (thrown by Trenton & I) on Saturday and Sunday. Bless my sisters for stepping in and taking charge both days, even though Sunday was for Lisa and I'm sure they had better ways of spending their weekends. My mom came and helped me cook food on Sunday for Lisa's party and basically I was able to rest and do what the dr. said. However, the bleeding/cramping didn't stop and by last night, I was a frantic trainwreck of emotions. Trenton & I had talked & were hoping for the best, but prepared (or the best we could) for the worst this morning. However, when we got in there, the little monkey was wiggling all around, HB of 171, and in general doing great. We've measured behind all along, so that wasn't a real concern because it's consistent. The dr. said in all his years of delivering babies and what not, he's had a handful of people that inexplicably bleed/cramp and everything is fine. He said take it easy and rest assured the little one is healthy. WHEW!!! I know God has a plan for Trenton & I, but it's heartbreaking to think that something is wrong when you've become so attached to the little person inside. Sorry for the ramble, but after this weekend, I just wanted to lift this wonderful joy up in praise of God!
Sometimes I just let myself get way too bogged down with worry. I worry about absolutely everything and if you were to ask my husband he would whole heartedly agree. Lately, there have been many, many, many things with our families and I have let myself stress out about it way too much. It's affecting my mental, emotional, and physical health. So after a long drawn out dramatic crying session to my husband....I'm letting go of the things out of my control. I cannot control what certain people choose to do or more importantly not to with their own bodies. I cannot make choices for them. I have my life and am making my own choices. Even when the decisions they make are obviously bad ones, it's their lives to lead. So, I'm taking Jenn's advice and I'm letting go. I have to...life's too short to be angry and bitter. I know that God would want me to be supportive of these people, and I can't be that person when I let the bitterness take over. There's a song played on 90.7 and I heard it this morning and it really makes alot of sense.
My heart beats, standing on the edge But my feet have finally left the ledge Like an acrobat There’s no turning back I’m letting go Of the life I planned for me And my dreams Losing controlOf my destiny Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe So I’m letting go This is a giant leap of faith Trusting and trying to embrace The fear of the unknown Beyond my comfort zone I’m letting go Of the life I planned for me And my dreams Losing controlOf my destiny Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe So I’m letting go Giving in to your gravity Knowing You are holding me I’m not afraid Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me
So....I've been dying to write this particular blog for over a month and a half now...but I can finally breathe a sigh (a small sigh) of relief and start letting people know that......Trenton & I are expecting!!! FINALLY!!! I hate secret keeping and lately it seems like my whole life has revolved around keeping other people's secrets, not to mention our own little secret. I thought at first it would be fun that only Trenton, me & a few select others knew about it, but then as other things started piling up, it really wasn't that fun. I wanted to be able to ask people for advice & not worry myself to death. I wanted to be excited about my blessing instead of bogged down with everyone else's drama...and finally we can. I'm sure there is enough other things going on in people's lives that this isn't obviously going to be the center of everyone's world, but it is mine despite all the other junk going on. So, I'm officially announcing it...I'm going to be a mom! :)
On other news...we (Trenton & I) just got back from my 3 day conference at Tan-Tar-A. It was so nice to escape the reality of our lives at home for just a few days, even though it was work related. We didn't really do anything exciting down there, other than went swimming and enjoyed the cable TV. We were supposed to have a room with a king size bed, but ended up in a room with 2 double beds. Ever tried to share a double bed with a bed hogging husband after you've gotten used to your spacious queen sized bed? It felt like trying to share a bunk bed...But besides getting no sleep for 2 days, we had a great time. Hunting season begins today for Trenton, so I won't see alot of him from now until the end of November. I told him the other day I'm a seasonal widow! We worked at the farm for a couple hours last night to get the finishing touches on for today. I'm exhausted and couldn't sleep last night, so I'll be taking a long nap before Sonlight tonight.
Ok, I've been gone from work for 5 days, I'm pretty sure I don't know where the top of my desk is, so instead of blogging, I should probably get caught up on work stuff...
My sister finally had her baby...I'll give you the details and try to make time for the whole story...
Myra Jean Bogatzke- 6:58am on 9/15/08 21 inches long and 8 lbs 13oz. She is a chunk! She has a big round face and double chin and looks just like her dad! Her hair is dark colored, but we'll see if it stays that way. If I could have brought her home with me, I would have! Now if you'd asked me how I felt about babies while Holly was screaming her lungs out that morning, I might have had a different answer. I asked Trenton if he could figure out an alternative method (like him having the baby) but he said he was pretty sure that was my job and I'd just have to suck it up!
They induced Holly at 7am on Sunday. Trenton & I were planning on going to the Chiefs game w/ Lisa & Butch b/c they bought him tickets for his birthday. We decided to go b/c Holly said she figured it would take awhile...and that it did. 23 hours and 58 minutes later...Welcome Baby Myra! Trenton & I got to the hospital in Centerville a little before midnight. At the time, I sleeping on the cement hospital floor did not rank as my favorite thing, but it was worth it in the end! I decided to skip school yesterday, because darn it, I was exhausted! I had been up since 4 am on Sunday and finally hit the bed at 9:45 am on Monday...almost 30 hours later...if you knew everything I had going on with colds, meds, and other stuff...you would know this was quite a task for me! Although, I'm sure it doesn't even begin to compare to how tired Holly was. She did great...although she had to have several stitches and lost a lot of blood. She was doing wonderful last night other than her blood pressure won't stay down...which means we couldn't stay and visit too terribly long...I have pictures put haven't downloaded them off my camera yet.
Seeing Myra really confirmed the fact that I (we) are beyond ready to start our family. I can't wait! My friend Serena brought their little boy Levi to our house on Friday and stayed the evening b/c her husband is the Salisbury football coach and she didn't want to have to sit in the rain with the baby. Trenton was absolutely in heaven! He loves babies...boys or girls. He says he hopes we have a boy, but you should see him with Adi...it was love at first sight! He'll say, we haven't seen James and Amee for awhile, I wonder how Adi is? Or Emma...that girl could get away with anything with Trenton. At the Relay for Life on Saturday, she came and sat with us, and had to be Trenton's parrot b/c he always put her up on his shoulder...I used to think she liked me more, but I'm pretty sure I lost that one! We love spending time with other people's kids, but I am truly ready for one of our own...
Other than that...life will hopefully resume to some normalcy. I have meetings on Wed, Thurs, & screening on Friday and am supposed to leave for Tan-Tar-A for a conference on Sunday and be gone until Tuesday. I am hoping (translate: the odds are against me) that my husband will be able to go with me, but with all the rain that's looking doubtful. It will be pretty boring if I have to go by myself...but we'll see, pray he gets to go...he needs a break too! And I just found out instead of staying in Memphis for a meeting tomorrow, I may have to go to a different meeting in Columbia! Yippee...not so much! At least the meeting on Thursday doesn't start until 9 in Kirksville, so I can sleep in and come home early! Ok, back to work...being away for a day sure left a stack of stuff for me to do and unfortunately blogging is not on that list...
That when you want the time to fly, it never does? I want school to be over today and it has done nothing but drag on...including the time it took to go outside in the rain for a fire drill. I've been in such a funk lately and I shouldn't be...and standing out in the rain...definitely did not help :( But the good news is: 1) Sonlight starts tonight!! Yea!! 2) My husband is in charge of supper tonight and he's fixing cheesy potato soup! 3) We rented The Bucket List the other day and are finally going to watch it tonight.
Also, if anyone knows of a magic way to get laundry & house cleaning done while you take a nap, please let me know? My house is a DISASTER!! And all I can seem to do is sleep! Bad combination.
Ok, boring blog I know...hopefully I'll have something more exciting to blog about soon.....:)
I have a wonderful and loving husband, Trenton, who is the love of my life. We were married in November 2007. I love spending time with family and friends. We are very blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives. I am the director of Special Education. I really enjoy my job. We are currently expecting our first child, a baby girl, after struggling to start a family after 3 recurrent losses in the past year. We're just trying to give it all to God and enjoy where we are in life at the time.