This is normal, right?

I think I'm starting to freak out a little bit about the whole almost there thing. Do you see that countdown on the right? It says 46 days. Give or take a few. That is impossible.

I lay awake at night thinking things like, what if the name we have picked out doesn't sound right? Should we change it? What if I can't breastfeed, do I have a formula on hand for back up? If so, what one? Will she be warm enough in the pram that I have for a winter coat? What if we get snowed/stuck in the house and I need something for her? What if we're simply just not good at being parents? What if that maternal instinct, doesn't kick in for me? People keep asking me what kind of diapers and wipes I want...I don't know, I don't have a baby to try them on yet. I know this kind works for you, but what if it gives my girl a rash. So I just say, you pick and we'll hope for the best. I'm trying to be laid back about figuring things out as we go, but the more questions people ask me about things I don't know yet, the more I'm starting to feel like the kid that needs the cheat sheet to pass the test. I'm open for all kinds advice.

Then I think about other stupid stuff, like "Trenton, yes, I know it's 3:15 in the morning, but do you think James would come look at the light in the basement and why it won't work?" OR " I really want to get that spare bed set up in the basement tomorrow". Granted, most nights, I've refrained from waking him up and just lay there with my mental list until morning. I feel like I'm becoming the grouchy pregnant lady because I'm not sleeping and other people's demands just put more pressure on the never-ending list of things I feel like I need to get done first. I'm feeling the pressure of the whole holiday schedule and be here at this time and there at that time and so and so wants to have Thanksgiving on this day. I know part of that is the unknown of when she will come, so I don't feel like we have any 100% definite plan of how our time will be spent from Thanksgiving to Christmas. If she's 2 weeks early, hello Thanksgiving. If she's 2 weeks late, Merry Christmas! I just feel like saying, "yeah, about that, we'll be there if we can, but if not, Happy Holidays!"

Tell me this is all normal. Tell me that it's a temporary thing because the time is getting so close. I just can't help but feel that we've waited so long for this, but at the same time, I know our WHOLE lives are going to change. What if we aren't as ready for that change as we thought. My husband appears to be Mr. Calm and Cool. He just keeps telling me, we're adaptable, we're flexible, we can handle it. I know he's right, but someone needs to send my brain that memo at 3:00 am when it's making yet another to do list.

32 weeks

I'm a little late on the pictures this week as Saturday was technically 32 and I'm closer to 33 now. But the picture was taken on Monday, so I guess close counts right? Our appt went well last week and we'll go again next Friday. I will be doing non-stress tests to monitor her just because Dr. T wants to make sure she's doing ok. Blood pressure continues to be excellent and I actually lost a couple pounds after the previous pile on! Overall, we're getting very VERY excited!

The lovely and thoughtful BUNCO babes surprised me with a shower at our October Bunco and it was fantastic (especially since it was already at my house, which meant I didn't have to pack things home!!) I promise to get pictures from Jenn of our gifts! We were very humbled by the graciousness of our friends and already feel the overwhelming love for our Little Miss.

This is not the most flattering of pictures. Please excuse no makeup and the fact that I hadn't really combed my hair yet. I bought that sweater over the weekend and was totally digging it....then I put it on Monday morning, wore it for about 5 minutes and changed not too long after taking the picture. My belly is still mostly just 2 fat rolls sticking farther and farther out, but whatever, it is what it is and fat rolls or not, there's a healthy little girl inside!



And as a comparison

30 wks

Well, we had our last monthly appt on Friday, October 1st. Everything seems to be going just swimmingly. My blood pressure continues to be good, running on the low side. The only problem with that has been episodes of lightheadedness, but nothing major. I am having SEVERE leg cramps and restless legs. Dr. Tobler suggested that I start taking a magnesium supplement to see if we could relieve some of the pain. Not only do they hurt super bad, but they are also causing me to loose quite a bit of sleep.

We will start our bi-weekly appts on the 15th. It doesn't seem possible that will be our 32 wk appt. We will have another ultrasound that day because he wants to check my fluid level and her measurements as I was measuring between 31 1/2- 32 wks at the 30 wks checkup. Nothing major, I'm sure, but it definitely explains why I feel huge, my pants don't fit, and I've gained more weight in a month than I had altogether! I'm excited to see her again and am hoping this will relieve some of the burning desire to get her here!

I'm starting to get to the uncomfortable stage. Mostly at night. Sleep seems to allude me most nights, but I'm able to catch a few naps during the week to keep up. We have the nursery ready other than hanging stuff on the walls and curtains. I can't find dark wooden curtain rods anywhere! I had curtains bought, but they were the wrong size! One wall will have her name on it, so it will be blank until she gets here. I'm starting to get very anxious about bringing a new baby home in the midst of the holiday chaos. It's hard to plan the holidays not knowing when exactly she will make her debut!

Here's a few pictures of my expanding belly. I'll save you the nightmare of a bare belly and keep it covered for public viewing!

This was 9/15 at approximately 27 1/2 weeks.


and this is today at approximately 30 1/2 wks.



Side by side comparison. Not much change so far, just a lot of fluff!