Finally Friday

So the week that has seemed eternally long is finally over! I've started the last 2 mornings with killer headaches. I would like to blame it on the early morning waking to go work out with Amee, but I'm afraid that isn't it...More than likely, it's the incredibly incompetent people I've had to deal with the last 2 days....ok, more like person....grrr....anyway....

Really excited it's Friday. We have a surprise party tomorrow...yeah! Other than that, hopefully, I will be moving my furniture back into my bedroom, which means I can sleep in my own bed and not at my mother in law's anymore. I'm very grateful that they have fed and sheltered us this week...but darn it, I miss my bed. We could have very easily have stayed at our own house on the air mattress, but the fumes from the varnish were too much for me to handle. For those of you wondering what the heck is going on...we ripped up the carpet in our bedroom, painted the walls, and refinished the beautiful hardwood floor that was hiding under the nasty moldy carpet. Although the project was a little more expensive than planned, much to Trenton's dislike...I am completely satisfied and ecstatic about moving my stuff back in. I promised Trenton I wouldn't come up with anymore projects for awhile, but I'm afraid that might have been a lie.....I have a whole list...like redoing the bathroom and cleaning out the spare room and taking the bed down...maybe I'll wait for Christmas break...

My sister should be having her baby someday soon...I hope..the anticipation is killing me. They won't tell us what name they have picked out and I'm going crazy. Soon enough I guess!!!

Alright, back to work....enough time killed for now!

I...

I AM.....a wife, a friend, a teacher, a sister, a daughter, and many more to come!
I WANT.....to learn to savor today and stop worrying so much about tomorrow. I want to have confidence that I am a good wife, friend, teacher, etc...
I HAVE.....an overwhelming desire to nuture others and be a mom someday...
I WISH I COULD......find a way to let my husband know just how much he means to me and how much I appreciate all he does.
I HATE......that I have a need to be accepted and loved by people, even if it's an unhealthy relationship, I still want to be liked and wanted.
I FEAR.......that I won't actually be good at my new job because my heart is still with the kids at my old one.
I SEARCH.......for answers to questions I know I will never actually find the answers to, which in reality tests my faith in ways I wish it didn't...
I REGRET.......that I'll always live with the doubt of whether or not I could have made a difference in the way a loved one's life ended.
I LOVE.........my husband and how hard he works to make our life together better everyday. He truly is my soulmate and the one person I know I can ALWAYS count on. I LOVE our church and the peace I have found there. I LOVE our current and future blessings and our families.
I ACHE FOR.........for lost souls..whether it's children, adults, animals, etc. I have a very tender heart. I ACHE FOR one last hug from my dad.
I ALWAYS CRY...........well...I just always cry, alot lately! I cry when I'm mad, sad, happy, joyful, overwhelmed, hurting, etc.
I AM NOT...........perfect, although I waste a lot of my time trying to be and trying to make others think I am. I am not one to make hasty decisions which sometimes means I lose "the moment"
I DANCE...........to slow songs when my husband will dance with me. I dance in my head all the time and wish I was as graceful in reality and I am in my fantasy. And I dance to anything when I've overindulged at family functions!
I SING............even though I shouldn't! I sing in the car (which I'm sure is probably the reason Trenton married me...or not), I sing all the time...it's just not always a pleasant experience!
I NEVER............have been able to make food taste the same way as my mother-in-law, even though I follow her recipe exactly!
I RARELY..........meaning almost never, go through a day without telling my husband I love him at least a dozen times.
I CRY WHEN I WATCH............the commercial on TV about the animal adoption...anymore, Trenton just makes me turn my head or cover my eyes.
I AM NOT ALWAYS.........as ok as I seem...
I HATE THAT...........I'm a jealous person when it's totally unnecessary
I'M CONFUSED ABOUT..........why I feel homesick and heartsick when I have a good job and am surrounded my great people, why do I still miss the place I chose to leave?
I NEED...........to trust God more and not spend so much time perfecting my plan when I know my plan isn't always His plan.
I SHOULD...........worry less, love more, laugh more, hug more, and get back to work!

Good-bye Summer!

Day # 2 of school and I'm exhausted already. I really really like my job, but I have to admit that I'm very homesick for Schuyler. I miss the staff and I'm heartsick for "my" kids. I know it will get better once I get settled in a little more and it helps knowing that Jenn is going through the same emotions. I think the tragedy here has made it a little bit difficult to 1) get in a groove and 2) get to know some of the staff b/c they are all grieving as a group.
Life has been crazy to say the least lately. Trenton is taking today off work for the first time in 3 1/2 weeks and I'm at school. He's spending his day moving the furniture out of our bedroom so Kate and I can paint it and Jamie and Josiah are going to redo the hardwood. What a good husband! Actually, he just knows if he doesn't do it, I would try to move it all by myself...cause' I'm stubborn like that! We are going to visitation tonight for James' dad and possibly going to Antique Days in Memphis later. We've been very blessed lately with a lot of things in our lives and I just hope we can pay it forward and continue to grow in our faith and family.
We are awaiting the upcoming arrival of my niece! Holly is supposed to be having her baby sometime in the next month...hopefully in a few more weeks, because I'm getting anxious!

Ok, well that's it for now......I better get back to my actual job...which I'm pretty sure did not include blogging in the description!

I finally have a few minutes to catch up on this crazy thing! We made it back from our mini vacation on Saturday evening. I spent all week in Jeff City at training and then made a quick trip to the 'Ville' for graduation. Trenton and I were able to spend a leisurely day at the Omaha Zoo on Friday and really enjoyed ourselves. Trenton had been there before in 04' but they have added several things since then and I had never been so it was quite the experience. On Saturday, we met up with some friends and had pizza at their house and were able to visit all afternoon. They have a little boy that's 16 mo. and he is a pistol. If I didn't have baby fever before we went....I definitely do now...he's too cute. And Monica is expecting baby number #2 in October, so that made it even more exciting! We love going back to Maryville to visit and I've always said if there was one place I would move, it would be back there. I think part of it is that's where I was living when Trenton and I first started dating so I have a lot of memories with him there, but also because I spent 4 years of my life there on my own. He, however, would move to Colorado! I love Maryville because despite being a college town, it has the feel of closeness like Schuyler County...only with a Wal-mart! LOL!

I do have to say though, that I am exhausted. Another week of training everyday this week, plus helping Trenton at the farm until late each night and getting up with Amee to go to Bloomfield to workout...I can't wait to sleep in...wait, there are no more days to sleep in...school starts in a week and a half :( We also have my sister's baby shower on Saturday, so I feel like free time I have (like now) should be spent getting things ready for it. We were supposed to go to St. Louis with James and Amee, but aren't going to be able to go because of the weather and Trenton being behind in the fields, with hay, etc. I'm really sad about that because I know it would have been a blast and Trenton & I have never been to an amusement park together...so Six Flags would have been awesome!

Alright...back to work...on what I'm not sure, but I should probably be more productive than just blogging away all my spare time!